That One Video

So I'm watching Obscurus Lupa's 30 Genre Films that DON'T Suck, and she mentions that one of the films on her list, Little Monsters, was her favorite as a kid and the one that she rented all the time from the video store.  Which got me to thinking about how my sisters and I also had a video that we rented more than any other when we were kids.  Actually, come to think of it, there were two.  We took Yellow Submarine out from the library as often as we could, until their copy got lost, or stolen, and they never bothered to replace it (still!).  But what I really meant to write about here was the video we rented from the video store: Unico in the Island of Magic.

In case you don't know, and when we were kids, my sisters and I certainly didn't, Unico was a character created by Osamu Tezuka, a unicorn who brought happiness to people, and for this was banished by the gods. But the West Wind took pity on him and kept moving him from place to place, trying to keep him hidden from the gods.  Unico in the Island of Magic was actually the second movie based on the Unico manga, and follows Unico after the West Wind places him on an island which turns out to be ruled by an evil puppet named Lord Kuruku.  He makes friends with a girl named Cherie whose older brother works for Kuruku in hopes of keeping his family safe from being turned into living puppet people that Kuruku uses to build up his castle walls.  But this doesn't work, as Toby and Cherie's parents are turned into puppets, and so Unico and Cherie travel to the ends of the earth to find out how to stop Kuruku.  There's all kinds of crazy stuff and great characters, so it's no wonder my sisters and I loved it so much.  I should rewatch it sometime.  It's on YouTube, after all.
What videos do you remember renting all the time?  I asked my husband, but he can't think of any specific examples.

Midmorning Video - Another PMV

If I'd been thinking about it, I would have held off uploading this on youtube until today, being as it's Brony Appreciation Day, apparently.



This one is pure nostalgia for me, since the second Care Bear movie was the one I saw the most as a kid, and I still love all the songs from it. I was actually trying to find a Fruits Basket AMV that was in my favorites on my old account, but no dice.  Anyway, in listening to the song, I could easily fit it to the mane six from FiM, although I had to fudge it a little bit.  I mean, Pinkie Pie fits both Funshine and Cheer (as described in the song, I mean), and Twilight Sparkle could be either Bright Heart Raccoon or Grumpy Bear.  But on the whole, I'm pleased with how this video came out.

Random Summer Memory

As I am still essentially laptop-less (which of course happens when Gaia's summer event is essentially the Oregon Trail. *sigh*), posts will continue to be a little light.  But I was reading X-Entertainment's review of Kool-Aid Bursts and suddenly remembered how my mom used to put Kool-Aid juice boxes in the freezer and then cut off the top of box to make a kind of Kool-Aid italian ice for me and my sisters.  It had a interesting texture, from what I recall (and I can only actually remember the Bluedini flavor, come to think of it), that would kind of flake.  It wasn't just a big ice cube, is what I'm trying to say. Part of me wants to try and recreate it.  But I am thwarted by the fact that Kool-Aid no longer makes juice boxes, although they do make Capri-Sun-like pouches.  Maybe that would work?  Somehow, I doubt it.

Mixtapes

I've taken to listening to audiobooks while crocheting (and doing other things), and I've found myself checking out books that I might not have otherwise, simply because the audiobook selection at most libraries is so much smaller than the print collection.  That's how I ended up listening to  Love Is a Mix Tape: Life and Loss, One Song at a Time.  The author, Rob Sheffield, shares various mix tapes he's made over the years and the time in his life they represent, with the bittersweet edge of losing his wife along the way.  Listening, my mind kept wandering to the mixtapes I myself had made, though they weren't really the kind of tape he was talking about.
From 1998 to 2006-ish, I filled 10 and half tapes with my favorite songs from musicals (and the occasional movie or TV song).  I didn't really have the intention of making that many when I started, mind you.  In the summer of 1998 I fell in love with the OCR of Sunset Boulevard, which I had taken out from the library, and listened to it nonstop.  When its due date arrived, I couldn't bear to return it, and I didn't have the funds to buy my own, since a. it was a two-disc set and b. Amazon.com wasn't on the radar yet.  But then I remembered that my father had once told me that you could copy CDs from the library because they pay a special fee, or something, and I just happened to have a boombox with a line-in connection (a surprise fulfillment of a Christmas request for a tape player a couple of years earlier), so I hooked up my CD player and recorded my favorite tracks from that, and a few other CDs I had out at the time.  I actually lost that first tape fairly early on, but I still remember most of the shows that I pull songs from (including Pippin, The Muppet Movie, and Shenandoah).
Even with the arrival of mp3s and cd-ripping into my life, I continued to make my Broadway mixtapes.  I didn't even think of switching to CDs, which means that I occasionally run into songs that I no longer like as much as I used to (if at all) when listening to the cassettes, and have to suffer through them.  Which is probably why the nail in my mixtape-making coffin was when I got an mp3 player.  To be fair, I was losing interest by then, partially due to the difficulty of finding CDs of musicals that I hadn't heard yet that also had songs that I wanted to keep listening to, and the fact that I no longer had my own CD/cassette player (the line-in boombox died earlier).  But the mp3 player basically did what my mixtapes had: let me pick and choose from the best of my collection, with the added bonus of being able to remove songs I was tired of and skip ones I wasn't in the mood for.  I still have my tapes and I still like to listen to them and go back to the time when they were made, though I haven't actually listened to them that much since I got my new car that doesn't have a tape deck.

I Remember Disney Movies Past

There's been a bit of a kerfuffle over Disney's upcoming CG fairytale being renamed from Rapunzel to Tangled, and that got me thinking about past Disney fairytales. Then I saw the trailer for Waking Sleeping Beauty, and that made me want to make a blog post. So this is mostly just random things that come to mind when I think of Disney movies in relation to my childhood, along with a few random observations.

I grew up during the Disney Renaissance. The absolute earliest memory I have of seeing a movie in a theater is from Oliver and Company (I don't remember the whole movie, but the chase scene near the end has always remained in my memory). When The Little Mermaid came out, or rather, when it came out on VHS, it was specifically given to me as a present, but my younger sister took to watching it religiously, and to this day my older sister can still quote the movie word-for-word thanks to those watchings. Eventually it dawned on me that since the video had been given to me, I could control when we watched it, and after that we didn't watch it quite so much.

Considering the quick turnaround of movies coming out in a theater and then being released on DVD we have these days, it's weird to remember that it used to be six months to a year. I recall getting Beauty and the Beast on VHS for Christmas and then going to see Aladdin a few days later back in 1992. And now, The Princess and the Frog is coming out on DVD in just a few weeks. Amazing how things have changed.

When The Lion King came out, my younger sister got a sing-along cassette of the songs, but when I heard the radio version of "Can You Feel the Love Tonight," I had to own the actual soundtrack. And since this was the summer when my sisters were forced to give a third of their birthday money to me, I actually had money in the summer for change, and thus I was able to buy it myself. I was rather proud of that, and I'm pretty sure I still have that cassette somewhere. (As for why my sisters had to give me money, I had used all my birthday money earlier in the year to buy a Sega Genesis with Sonic 2, and my parents felt it was fair that my sisters pay their part as well, since we all used it. Which makes sense, but I hadn't expected that, so it was a bit of windfall for me.) I wasn't compelled to buy the soundtrack to another Disney movie until Mulan, but that was partially because my younger sister got the soundtrack to The Hunchback of Notre Dame.

Speaking of that movie, the summer that it came out, my family took a trip down to Williamsburg, and on the return trip, Mom gave my sisters and I whiteboards to draw on. For a reason I can no longer remember, we got obsessed with coming up with scenarios for the gargoyle characters (with Laverne as Hugo's Abhorrent Admirer mostly), which somehow gave way to drawing parodies of the titles of musicals with Hugo inserted (i.e. Hugo on the Roof, Kiss Me, Hugo). When we got home, my older sister re-drew the best ones in Fine Artist, though those have all been lost to time by now.

My sisters and I were disappointed by Hercules, though it took a while for us to figure out exactly why. After some debate, we chalked it up to Hades not getting a villain song, reasoning that all the Disney movies in recent years gave a song to the villain (even McLeach from The Rescuers Down Under had a very short one), and this one didn't, so that must be the key.

Speaking of songs in Hercules, I was looking up the voices in that movie just the other day, and was amused (no pun intended) to see that one of the muses (the short one) has gone on to voice Bubie in The Marvelous Misadventures of Flapjack. Another muse was voiced by LaChanze, which I note only because I recently got the OBC of Once on This Island, which is where she had her first starring role.

Katy Caterpillar

Sometime in my childhood, I saw an animated film called "Katy Caterpillar" (probably on the Disney Channel, they showed a lot of really random stuff back then), but I never saw it again, though I wanted to, mostly because of the Just For Kids video previews that showed the sequel movie, "Katy and the Katerpillar Kids." Most of what I remembered was just the ending, where Katy escapes her mean sisters by knitting herself a cocoon and transforming into a butterfly, with her sisters trying to squeeze themselves into the cocoon as she flew away.

Well, like most things these days, someone put it up on youtube, so I was finally able to see it again. But in this case, I think it might have been better left as a memory. The movie follows Katy, who leaves the safety of her cherry tree because she finds it boring, but is almost instantly set upon by a pair of crows and has to be saved by The Spirit of Nature (not anthropomorphized, though, just a glowing ball of light). The Spirit of Nature sends Katy off on a quest to find her true self and be transformed, and thus Katy has a series of adventures highlighting the jerks of the forest. A busty spider teaches her to knit, though she gets out of there quickly when she learns the spider eats bugs (whether the spider intended to eat Katy is not made clear), then she is snubbed by chameleons, conscripted to work as a bee (though she did kinda walk into it), swindled by a frog, and saved by those crows again, who are prevented from eating her by the intervention of a cat chasing a mouse. She convinces the mouse to follow his dreams and visit the city, where they visit a mouse disco and save the crows from being canned in a tomato factory, and in gratitude they fly Katy and the mouse back to the forest. There, she encounters The Spirit of Nature again, and though she still doesn't know what she wants to be, she knows what she wants to do, which is fly without being a bee. That's good enough for The Spirit of Nature, so it gives Katy a book on how to become a butterfly, which she carries back to the cherry tree and reads, then knits her cocoon. I mostly remembered the ending correctly, except only one of the sisters was mean, and Katy wasn't really escaping them. But she does go back and visit the friends she made along her journey.

So yeah, it wasn't that fantastic, and I really only made it through the film to see the end, since part of my memory of it involved her learning what she needed to do from the mouse (which didn't happen) and using the button the frog sold her (which also didn't happen, as she abandons it soon after she gets it). So it ends up being a bit of a shaggy dog story, as the only thing she really uses on her journey to become a butterfly is the knitting from the spider, and that might have been written in the book. I just can't get over that, you know. A caterpillar has to learn how to become a butterfly from a book. The Spirit of Nature has a book to give her. That's one of the weirdest cop-out endings I've ever seen.

The voice acting is not the best here, nor are the songs that great, besides Katy's theme, but I'm mostly blaming this on the fact that the movie is actually from Mexico, and rewriting songs is always hit or miss.

Christopher the Christmas Tree

Starting off the Christmas season a couple of days late, but that's okay. Thanks to the power of Youtube, I was able to revist a Christmas special I remembered watching one Saturday morning back in 1993 or 1994, and though I hadn't seen it at all in the years between, a good amount of it had stuck with me. It's not that bad as Christmas specials go, but it is definitely kind of odd.

It all starts with a narrator singing about The Valley of Hidden Hollow and Christopher the Christmas tree, who got passed over year after year. Then the actual story kicks in, going back to when Christopher was but a tiny pine and all the other trees around him got chopped down to be Christmas trees. We're introduced to nine other trees by name, even though they're in this show for less than two minutes, never to be seen again. Now, all the trees are anthropomorphized, with branchy hands, and using pinecones and snow to mimic clothes and accessories, and even mammories. Seriously, one of these trees has a huge rack, which she jiggles while claiming "I'm the fullest!" when the trees are trying to one-up each other on why they'll be picked to be Christmas trees. What?! Now, it looks like our special is about to over, as a boy bounds onto the scene and goes straight for Christopher, but the boy's father insists that Christopher is too small for them to put a star on top. The boy asks why they put a star on top, perhaps hoping to get Christopher if he can convince his dad they don't need to do it, but since the star represents the one the wisemen followed to baby Jesus, there's no getting out of it. Maybe next time, Christopher. Oh wait...

Anyway, all the other trees laugh and jeer at Christopher as they are driven off in a truck, and Christopher starts singing a little song about wanting to be a "pretty tree" while crying tears that turn into ice cubes. The narrator just talks over Christopher's song, telling us that Christopher never got picked and eventually he was too big to fit in someone's home. That might be the end of the story right there, but we're only three minutes in, so the narrator goes right ahead and takes us to a family of owls, just as the dad owl is giving his youngest son, Hooty, grief for being an idiot. He phrases so it sounds like Hooty is just a noncomformist ("Why can't you be more like your brothers, Owlvin and Owlbert?"), but after Hooty runs away (immediately following this taunting), a song reveals that Hooty can't fly or talk, so yeah. He travels the whole of Hidden Hollow, but is ostracized by everyone he meets.

Eventually Hooty makes his way to the only house in Hidden Hollow, where the owners of the Christmas tree farm live. Good thing, too, since it's winter by then and he keels over from the cold. The sound of him keeling was loud enough for the boy in the house to hear it, and he rushes Hooty in and puts him by the fire. The boy's father tells him to put the owl by the Christmas tree to make him "feel more at home." Huh? This is actually an awkward segue to reveal that the father is the boy from the first scene, all grown up, as his son asks why they put the star on the tree, and he says he asked his father the same thing. Using the star, the boy wishes he could be President of the United States someday so he could help everyone, even the owl. You'd be better off becoming a vet in that case, kid.

The warmth of the fire brings Hooty back, and he stays in the house for a day? Two days? At least until Christmas, then Dad tells the son to send the owl back into the wild, since it wouldn't be fair to keep him as a pet. Hooty disagrees, having finally found a friend, but he sets off into the wide world again, hopeful that he'll see the little boy again. He wanders into the tree farm, which apparently hasn't been taken care of very well, as there's only one tree in a field surrounded by stumps. That tree, of course, is Christopher, who welcomes Hooty with open arms (well, branches) and tells him his story of wanting to be a Christmas tree, despite being the only tree around anymore. But Christopher isn't downbeat because he believes that wishes come true. He encourages Hooty to make a wish, and so, while the chorus sings about wishing on stars, the narrator tells us that Hooty wished he could talk, fly, and always have a friend like Christopher.

The next day, or who knows when, a sleeping Christopher is approached by the most annoying woodland creatures ever featured in a nearly forgotten animated special. Apparently they were inspired by Christopher's friendship with Hooty to come and live in him, so they'll be safe from the foxes and weasels. Christopher doesn't object, claiming he's big enough to be a home for all of them, even the deer, and he lifts up his lower branches like a skirt to let them in. Uh, yeah. So the woodland creatures go through various antics in him while alternately dancing around him singing "Christopher, we love you!" and making verses out of horrible rhymes. The narrator reveals that even more time passes, as Christopher gets too big to ever be a Christmas tree (or rather, he "doubts he would ever be picked"), but he doesn't mind because he's protecting all these animals now.

And then, one fateful day, all the other animals go to gather some food, leaving Christopher and Hooty alone when who should show up but the weasel and the fox. For no particular reason, they taunt Christopher for wanting to be a Christmas tree even though he's way too big now, saying he'll be chopped into firewood (or worse, toothpicks) before long. They leave, having riled up Hooty, but Christopher calms him down and sends him to get food with the others. While Hooty is gone, a flock of migrating birds bunks down in Christopher, but they are frightened off by the arrival of a big, red truck. Yes, Christopher's time has come at last, as a man with a chainsaw starts cutting him down while Christopher protests. Hooty tries to stop the man, but he is too small, and Christopher goes down. Hooty goes after the truck while the other woodland creatures gather around Christopher's stump to lament their fallen friend.

Finally motivated by his need to follow Christopher, Hooty manages to take to the sky after a few false starts, and even finds the ability to talk, as well. He manages to catch up with the truck, where Christopher tries to get some comfort in his final hours from his small friend, but when he confesses that he thinks he's going to chopped into firewood, Hooty takes it upon himself to set Christopher free. He breaks all the ropes somehow, but he's still too small to push Christopher off the truck. So he decides to go and get the other woodland creatures to help him, flying off as Christopher calls for him to come back.

By the time all the woodland creatures catch up to the truck, Christopher has already been unloaded. Hooty finds Christopher just as he's being lifted up by some ropes, and falls to his knees(?), saying "We're too late!" But no, it turns out that Christopher was taken to Washington DC to be the White House's Christmas tree. And for some unexplained reason, the kid that helped Hooty that one time is putting the star on top. No, he didn't become the president like he wanted to, as the actual president comes out to officially name the tree Christopher. Then Christopher sings a song about being "The President's Personal Tree" while the woodland creatures engage in some antics with his decorations.

Still, there is some sadness in this happy time for Christopher, as Hooty points out that this is technically Christopher's last Christmas. But Christopher tells him that this is what he was born to do, and that being a Christmas tree is equal parts faith, sacrifice, and hope for mankind. He also reminds Hooty that he dropped all his pinecones when he fell, and charges the owl with planting them, so that "there will always be a Christopher the Christmas tree." And so the narrator closes things off by telling us that Hooty and the other animals did just that, and Christopher "was the happiest tree in the whole world." The end credits roll over still images of the woodland creatures planting the pinecones which eventually sprout into little trees while the song from the beginning of the episode plays, but with a final verse about how Christopher finally got his wish.

So, all in all, a heartwarming little story. The songs are all kind of country-western, and that "Christopher, We Love You" song just will not get out of my head. If you watch this, skip that part. I also like that it addresses the mortality of a Christmas tree, because you know some kid was going to point that out to their parents at some point. The animation quality is pretty good, too, besides some strange design choices. Like why do some of the animals (Hooty and his family, the weasel and the fox) wear clothes while the rest are naked?

Now, apparently, this special started its life as a song recorded in 1969. The story was created by George T. Bower, who was a Christmas tree farmer, among other things, and was trying to get the song made into a special for years, which included expanding the one song into an album back in the 80s. You can read more about it in this article from Billboard. Also, there's an alternate version from the one I saw on youtube that includes a couple of extra scenes (like the fox and weasel setting Christopher on fire?), and Christopher being set up in front of the UN building instead of the White House and singing about being "The Whole World's Christmas Tree." And it seems that there's a full-length movie version of this special in the works, though I'm not really sure that this is something the world needs.

You know, for some reason, I remember adult Christopher was voiced by Dom DeLuise, but watching it now, I can hear that's not that case. Hm.

It Just Bugs Me: The Busy World of Richard Scarry

I'm getting right down to business this time around. When I was younger, my sister and I watched a fair amount of Nick Jr., and almost always watched The Busy World of Richard Scarry. Which is why, to this day, I still burn with rage when I remember the terrible inaccuracies about different cultures and world history they fed to unsuspecting children. The show was in a "three shorts" format, and while most featured the gang from the Busytown books going about their Busytown lives, there would be the occasionally story about recurring detective characters (there were at least two different ones, if I recall correctly) or historical events. Only, as I said before, they were not anything close to the truth.

I don't remember the detective stories well enough to have that much rage against them, except for one, where the female detective went to China and had to solve the case of the kidnapped noodle chef. Only, it turned out that the guy who kidnapped the chef only did it because he always slurped his noodles and got banned from the restaurant for doing that (I think). Only, and even as a kid I knew this piece of information, in China and Japan you're supposed to slurp your noodles. It's a sign that you're enjoying your food. *headdesk*

But it's the show's attempts to tell a historical story that really brings up the ire in me. I mean, according to The Busy World of Richard Scarry, sandwiches were invented because the Earl of Sandwich's servant got distracted and forgot to wash the gloves aristocrats wore to eat food (what?), Amerigo Vespucci was a stowaway on Christopher Columbus' ship, and Michelangelo painted the Sistine Chapel's ceiling because he couldn't get the Pope (or maybe just a Father) to stop messing with the mural he was doing on the walls. There are more, but those are the ones I remember best.

I guess what really bothers me about these gross inaccuracies is simply that I don't understand why the show's producers thought it was necessary to completely change the story of history, or why they wanted to include historical segments anyway. It just makes no sense.

The Voice Actor Connection Again

Sometimes the IMDB just plain breaks my brain. Going from one thing to another tonight, I landed on "Puff the Magic Dragon and the Incredible Mr. Nobody," which I remembered from a tape of things my Dad taped back in 1985 (including Pound Puppies, Star Fairies, and Huggabunch), and so I decided to see what else Robert Ridgely (the titular Mr. Nobody) had done. So it starts out pretty normal, the Hollywood Showcase Annoucer from That Thing You Do, a couple of episodes of Dexter's Laboratory, so on and so forth. Until I got down to the 80's. Turns out this guy was the original Peculiar Purple Pieman of Porcupine Peak! (Yatatatata yatatata!) And I never ever made that connection before. Don't really know why, either, since he's done a ton of stuff, especially in the 80's. So it just goes to show you, I suppose.

Tugging away: Forever Young

I'm not a very sentimental person. At all. But there is one song (and only one, really) that pulls at my heartstrings (in the sense that I can actually feel my heartstrings being pulled) when I hear it: Forever Young from the second Care Bears movie.



Man, that right there is my childhood. It's more than just nostalgia, though, but I can't quite put my finger on what it is about the song that affects me so.

Adventures in Agapeland: The Music Machine - chapters thirteen through fifteen (END)

To make up for not posting the last part in any kind of timely manner, I made sure to get this, the ending of this book, up ASAP. As you recall, last time Stevie and Nancy picked up more traveling companions, and they all got captured first thing once they finally got to Aire. Also, Mr. Pimms got all spiffed up and is on his way with the Music Machine to see the prince.

Chapter XIII - Within the Proper
This chapter begins with Mr. Pimms and the Pudgians being approached by another squadron of Protium (the prince's special guard, you may recall, dressed in red and black). They are his escort into the palace, complete with a special coal black horse just for him. They set up a procession and ride into the capitol city, called The Proper, which the narrator describes as "foreboding," to a great amount of fanfare. The city is covered with stone statues, men, women, children, even animals. Mr. Pimms foreshadowingly imagines a statue of his own among the others, apparently not realizing the true nature of these figures. They reach the castle with is both dirty and ominous, and I can't help but wonder if these descriptions shouldn't be more from Mr. Pimms' perspective. I mean, yes, the castle may be dingy and dirty as opposed to Majesty's castle in Agapeland, but to anyone in Aire, I'm sure it looks quite grand. Anyway, the castle walls are topped by more sculptures, but these ones are made of marble and all of the prince.
Once they reach the castle gates, the rest of the guards fall away and only the commander goes in with Mr. Pimms' and the Pudgians. Inside the courtyard, the members of royalty gather round to watch the entrance, and as Mr. Pimms' approaches the palace's portico, Prince Nakel appears. Now, despite the similarity to his name and the term 'naked,' he is incredibly clothed. He is described as "terribly tall with a slender muscular body" with coal-black hair and a blood-red tunic. Besides his silver mask, he's also wearing many jewels. The narrator pauses to explain the legend of Prince Nakel's mask: as the story goes, the prince has no eyes, just hollow sockets, and anyone who looks into them is so mesmerized that their very soul leaves their body, and only a stone statue remains.
Mr. Pimms bows to the prince and announces to the crowd that he has brought the Music Machine from Agapeland, and calls for the Pudgians to uncover their cargo. In their haste, they make a muddle of things, so Mr. Pimms' takes over, and the thing is finally uncovered. The gathered royalty starts ooh-ing and aah-ing, but Prince Nakel shuts them up so he can crow about how he finally has Agapeland's greatest treasure. He orders the Protium to set the Music Machine up in the center of the courtyard and tells Mr. Pimms that there will be a feast in his honor. He also asks, in a low voice, only to Mr. Pimms, about the Pudgians, and Mr. Pimms insists that they're mostly harmless. The prince promises both Mr. Pimms and the Pudgians their "just reward," and bids them to the top of the portico. He sits in his sinister throne (with arms made of carved serpents and blood-red cushions) and invites Mr. Pimms to sit in the seat next to him. The Pudgians scramble to be closest to the tables with the food, which the prince ignores, instead calling for his dancing girls. Perhaps feeling his previous comment was not foreshadowy enough, he tells Mr. Pimms that he always rewards his faithful servants, all while girls with fans and scarves dance for them. While this is going on, the Pudgians talk amongst themselves about the way things have turned out.
A while later, the prince stands up and everyone halts what they're doing immediately, except for the Pudgians (fighting over food), so Mr. Pimms has to shut them up, while the prince shoots all four of them a distasteful look. Once everything is quiet, the prince addresses the court, announcing that the Music Machine will remake their land, and they have Mr. Pimms to thank for it (he also mispronounces 'pudgians,' which annoys Growdy and Boogwart, but Mr. Pimms tells them to keep quiet). The crowd cheers and applauds, and there are toasts, until Prince Nakel silences them again and tells them that the moment has finally come for Mr. Pimms to start up the Music Machine. It dawns on Mr. Pimms that he never learned how to make the Music Machine work. The prince insists that he make it work, and so Mr. Pimms begins trying anything and everything, getting more and more desperate as the machine sits silent before him. The only thing that saves Mr. Pimms (for the moment) is the arrival of the other Protium, who tell the prince about the spies from Agapeland. The prince orders them brought to him at once. While the guard goes to fetch them, Mr. Pimms goes back to trying to get the Music Machine to work, but the prince just tells him to put a sock in it.
The Protium brings in Stevie and Nancy and the others, and Mr. Pimms is relieved to be saved if only for a moment. The Pudgians just watch to see what will happen. Prince Nakel addresses the group of spies, but Stevie, spying the Music Machine, can't help pointing it out to Nancy. The Prince derives from that they are from Agapeland as the guard said, and he sneers at them, knowing that Agapeland must be dying now. But Stevie does not give him any satisfaction, instead insisting that the Music Machine belongs to Agapeland and they have come to get it. The Prince corrects him, the Music Machine belongs to him now, and asks how it works. Nancy tells him that they will not tell, even if their lives depend on it, which it very well might, as the prince orders them to tell him. Stevie then tells him that they demand it back in the name of Majesty. Hearing this, Prince Nakel shrinks back for a moment, but then he gets over it and towers over the children, shouting at them to never say that name in his presence.
With all the tension, Bundle, that strange creature that lives to lavish affection on others, decides to defuse the situation, despite Nancy's warnings, and bounds over to Prince Nakel and starts cuddling his leg. The prince, in no mood for this, grabs Bundle and flings it (can't say I blame him) all the way across the courtyard until it hits the wall on the other side with a thud. Nancy breaks through the guards and runs to it, but the little Huggit is more dead than alive. For some reason, the group has time to mourn their friend and comfort Nancy before Prince Nakel addresses them again, letting them know that he will get the information he wants. Seeing his cruelty up close, the Agapelanders have no doubt that he'll do whatever it takes to learn their secrets. The prince orders them sent to the dungeons with no food or water, and even goes as far as to warn them that "no one stands in the way of Prince Nakel and his plans!" (and lives, anyway.) He almost takes off his mask, then thinks better of it and just goes back into the castle.
In the dungeon, the Agapelanders are completely discouraged; although they know that Agapeland is done for, for the moment their attention is on Bundle. Nancy tries to comfort the little creature, but after two and a half paragraphs, it gives up the ghost. The others weep, alerting the guards, who come and take Bundle's lifeless body away, while reminding the others that they'll likely join their friend come tomorrow.

Chapter XIV - The Curse
Unlike the last chapter, this one is very short. The entire population of Aire apparently heard about what happened the night before and they're all in the courtyard to watch. Prince Nakel appears, wearing a flowing turquoise robe trimmed with white fur and puts on his crown, all to the applause of the crowd. Once the noise dies down, the prince addresses the crowd, promising to become the greatest ruler of "all the lands," meaning there's more than just Aire and Agapeland in this place, wherever it may be. The prisoners are brought in and the prince once again asks whether they'll tell him how the machine works. Stevie goes forward to answer, but before he can say anything, Prince Nakel falls off his throne. He gets back on, and Stevie tells them they will not tell him. And Prince Nakel is all "Oh yes you will!" and he falls off his throne again. And again. Finally his attendants hold him in place so he can threaten the prisoners with death without falling off his throne. All of the Agapelanders tell him they will never tell, singly, and Stevie again demands the return of the Music Machine. The prince is so outraged at being defied that he forgets all about the whole falling-off-the-throne thing and shakes of his attendants so he can raise his fist in anger at the Agapelanders. And falls off his throne again. He starts to threaten them again from the ground, but notices that he's suddenly broken out in green, itchy bumps all over his body. And so has everyone else, except the Agapelanders. Seeing this, someone in the crowd shouts that the Music Machine has cursed them all! The prince, still unable to stand, manages to drag himself over to Mr. Pimms, and blames the whole thing on him. He starts to threaten bodily harm, but Mr. Pimms takes off running before he can get more than a few words out. As he goes, the prince yells after him that he is banished. The Pudgians, seeing this, take off as well, griping about Mr. Pimms and his plans. And that is the last anyone sees of them. It seems Mr. Pimms was able to shake off the foreshadowing and did not end up a statue after all. Perhaps because he did the foreshadowing himself and not the narrator. But that's neither here nor there.
With much help and scratching, Prince Nakel makes it back to his throne and commands that the Music Machine and the prisoners from Agapeland all be burned at the stake to alleviate the curse. The Agapelanders are tied to the Music Machine in short order and the Protium goes to collect wood. There is no hope for Agapeland, since it is the last day of the festival, and even if they were magically rescued somehow, it would take too long to get back from Aire. The Protium puts the wood in place and lights the fire as the chapter ends.

Chapter XV - The Song of the Sparrow
Back in Agapeland, things are looking bleak. The forest is dead, and the festival will be over in but a few hours, yet everyone has gathered anyway, hoping for a miracle. Meanwhile, in Aire darkness falls, even though it's only noon, and the crowd makes a ton of noise as the group from Agapeland starts to burn at the stake. But over this noise, they hear the singing of three small birds, and Stevie realizes they're singing the same song from their dream back in Chapter 6! When the others hear that the dream was sent from Majesty, they urge Stevie and Nancy to remember what happened in it. It takes some doing, but the kids remember the riddle from the dream ("Remember the song of the sparrow and fly"), and hastily sing what they remember of the song. Then they sing it again and the others join in. The song mentions a breeze, and sure enough, one kicks up, quickly turning into a gusty gale, seriously freaking out all the folks in The Proper. The more the troop sings, the stronger the wind blows, and four "pinwheels of lightning" appear in the sky and start moving toward them. The ground starts shaking, The Proper is being destroyed, but the troop sings on. Suddenly the wind becomes a giant hand that loosens the ropes and sends the troop spinning into the air, toward a giant carriage made of mother-of-pearl and other precious materials (the lightning pinwheels are the wheels) pulled by six pure white, winged horses. Once everyone is safely in the carriage, the wind sends up the Music Machine, and then the carriage takes off at breakneck speed.
The carriage takes them back to Agapeland, right in the middle of the royal meadow where the Music Machine belongs. There is much congratulation and celebration from the gathered Agapelanders, and Mr. Conductor places the sacred writings in the Music Machine, beginning not only the most beautiful music ever to come from the Festival of Dosca, but the rebirth of Agapeland as everything begins to bloom again. Seeing the renewed beauty of Agapeland, Nancy is suddenly struck by the memory of her little friend, but who should be coming toward her right now? Why, it's Bundle! Nancy is grateful to see it, but wonders how it could possibly be alive. Mr. Conductor explains that it's due to a literal Deus ex Machina (i.e. Majesty did it), plus Agapeland is the "home of life." Everyone is singing and dancing to celebrate, and Stevie and Nancy dance with each other, twirling and whirling so fast that everything becomes a blur and they fall over and start rolling...
And we're back with Grandfather, who is still reading the story and reads the last few lines, revealing that the children ended up in Wiley Woods after all. With the story over, he looks down and sees that Stevie and Nancy fell asleep and apparently slept through most of it. This doesn't perturb him at all, but it makes me wonder whether Samuel Wright is doing some lampshading or something. And that's how it all went down.

Adventures in Agapeland: The Music Machine - chapters ten through twelve

Sorry that this took so long to get out. As a refresher, last time the Music Machine was stolen by Mr. Pimms and Stevie and Nancy took off on a quest to get it back, with only a week to do it or it's curtains for Agapeland! In their journey, they met up with Herbert the snail and were caught off-guard by an unseen captor.

Chapter X - The Army Grows
The kids and Herbert banter back and forth with the mysterious voice and another voice for about half a page about who is and who isn't under arrest, but then they finally face their captor, who turns out to be a bunny pirate, complete with eyepatch and pegleg, named Cap'n Jack, of all things. The other guy is some tall dude called (not necessarily named, though) Gentle George. There are introductions all around, and Bundle jumps on Cap'n Jack's face to prove that the rabbit is really a good guy after all. Hearing Stevie and Nancy's mission, both Jack and George join their crusade, but first they all camp out for the night.
The next day, traveling is slow because of Herbert, so Cap'n Jack complains, but George pulls out a guitar and sings "Kindness" from The Music Machine album, and when that doesn't stop Jack's grousing, he starts up "Love," as well. This goes on for two whole days before they finally end up only half a day away from Aire. Stevie and Nancy can't help but worry about their mission, but there isn't much time because they're ambushed again!
This time three boys dressed in too-large Royal Guard uniforms show up and demand to know the group's business. Stevie explains once again, then asks about the boys, who inform him that they're wannabe Royal Guards; they even have a homemade flag (Agapeland's flag, by the way, is pure white with a heart in the middle). The head kid introduces himself and his brothers as the identical sons of a miner, his exact words right there. Rather than follow in their dad's footsteps, they plan to "take the tests" to become Royal Guards when they get old enough, so for now they're just practicing, apparently. And obviously they want to join the others in rescuing the Music Machine. Cap'n Jack is loathe to add more deadweight to the troupe, until the boys reveal that they know a secret path into Aire. So the boys join the group, and George sings a marching song.
After a while they reach the secret entrance, which opens out of the ground, after someone opens it from inside (one of the boys climbs up the side of a cliff to do this), and they all head in.

Chapter XI - The Preparation
And we're back with Mr. Pimms and the Pudgians, still manually pulling the cart. As they approach the city of Dod, the two Pudgians pulling the cart give up, and since they're pretty close to the city anyway, Mr. Pimms tells them to pull over. Although his clothes are torn and dirty from the past couple of days, he's still optimistic about the fate of his master plan, and besides, he has another one to implement soon. The Pudgians do not share his optimism, but keep it to themselves. Pimms takes Growdy with him into town, and the other two grouse behind his back.
By the time they get to town, it's nighttime, and some sort of festival is going on (or will be, I'm not sure). Mr. Pimms ignores all the other things and heads straight for a back alley, proving he's been there before, and ends up at a health club. I'm not entirely sure what it's supposed to be, since I'm thinking some kind of gym, but Growdy calls it a swanky place. Maybe it's a spa or something. But it doesn't really matter, since this place is either not really a health club or just the back room, as Mr. Pimms is (kinda sorta) welcomed in by a bland fellow named Sig, who gives them some bread and cheese. Mr. Pimms tells Sig of his plans to gain importance in the Proper, and how it could be worth his while to help them. Although skeptical, Sig's looking to make some coin, but he refuses to lend Mr. Pimms anything he asks for unless he can pay for it. In lieu of actual payment, though, Mr. Pimms gives Sig his ring to be pawned. Sig's offer is less than Mr. Pimms expected, but Sig reminds him that after his "last escapade here," there's no one else in town who'll even talk to him, let alone make him a better offer. So Mr. Pimms accepts it, along with the fee for getting the things he needs, and the extra fee for getting someone to deliver a message to Prince Nakel, although inside he's writhing with rage.
The next day, Sig gets a new cart, tarse, and clothes for them all, and by the time Mr. Pimms gets up, the runner has already come and gone with his message. The prince is waiting. Later, Mr. Pimms and Growdy, decked in their snazzy new clothes (Mr. Pimms has on a lavender suit, white ruffled shirt and blue tie, and a walking stick, just in case you were wondering), pick up the other two Pudgians and they head off to the Proper. As they go, Mr. Pimms has flights of fancy about the riches and fame he'll acquire, while Growdy just hopes that the plan doesn't go awry like it usually does. And the narrator closes the chapter with yet another foreshadowy warning.

Chapter XII -Aire at Last
Meanwhile, Stevie, Nancy, and the others are traveling through a forgotten tunnel used in a war from a hundred years or so ago. There's a lot of description, but basically it's long and dark. Finally they reach the other end and everyone emerges into the drab and lifeless kingdom that is Aire. One of the boys tells them that the environment was destroyed by Prince Nakel, although I 'm not sure a. how he knows this and b. how the Prince did that, anyway. Just by being evil, I suppose.
They spend the rest of the day trekking across Aire, and they make it to a town called Wranton (take away a letter and what do you get?), where they decide to get something to eat. They head for an inn, but inside it's more like a bar. Everyone in the bar is unfriendly and filthy, apparently, but Stevie, Nancy, and the others order the special (the only thing on the menu) anyway. While they wait for their food, they watch the innkeeper bully a cleaning girl, and Stevie has to stop Cap'n Jack from extracting some justice, since that would probably derail their current mission. Once the food arrives, the only thing that compels them to eat the less than savory dish is the fact that they haven't had anything in a couple of days.
As they eat, two soldiers enter, order drinks, and one of them starts harrassing the cleaning girl. This starts to get violent, and Cap'n Jack gets involved. Once the Cap'n is in, so are the three boys, although just as they start in, a whole troop of soldiers show up, and soon everyone in the bar is involved in an all-out brawl (with the exception of Nancy and Bundle, which means even Stevie is doing something). The innkeeper is not pleased by all the damage being done to his bar. Eventually the soldiers (The Protium, Prince Nakel's personal guards) win out. They line everyone up and the commander demands to know everyone's hometown and their business in Wranton. He goes down the line, but Stevie refuses to say anything. The innkeeper tells the guard that Stevie and the others were the ones who started the brawl, and the commander, assuming they're spies, has all of them arrested. The Protium tie them up and go through their things, and find the homemade flag. Seeing this, the commander arranges for his troops to march the others to the Proper to be presented to Prince Nakel.
After a long while, the Protium stops for the night, and Stevie and Nancy and the others listen to the guards talk about Prince Nakel, how the only thing he loves more than spies are spies from Agapeland. They also make foreshadowy comments about the prince's mask and "what happens to anyone who looks into his eyes." Stevie tries to comfort Nancy by telling her maybe the prince isn't as bad as he sounds, but the narrator can't resist chiming in (in parenthesis even!) to warn us that the prince is actually even worse.

I'm just curious, are Cap'n Jack and Gentle George characters from an Agapeland album? There are plenty that I never listened to, so I really don't know. Still, it seems strange to have a pirate bunny rabbit if he wasn't already an established character. Identical miner triplets are more par the course for random characters, really.

What I read: a discovery!

I've always felt kind of bad because I never actually read The Secret Garden in my youth. I tried many times, picking up the familiar yellow paperback, but I could never get into it. I especially felt bad because I love the musical version. Well, today at work, things were so slow that I decided to pick up one of the books from the Puffin Classics display (I'm not sure why it's there, but if you buy two books, you get a free tote), and I thought I'd give The Secret Garden another try, maybe start further in. So I read the introduction, and then I started reading from the beginning, and about halfway through the first chapter it hit me: this was not the same book I'd tried to read so many times before. That yellow paperback, probably from the Scholastic book club, was actually a dumbed-down kids' version (which really doesn't make sense, since this is supposed to be a children's book, right?)! And I thought to myself, "No wonder I couldn't get into it before."
I noted later that the back said it was unabridged, so maybe I just read an abridged version. But what I remember involved things happening slightly different from what I read today. For example, I specifically remember the yellow paperback mentioning the children of the clergyman that takes in Mary dancing around her in a ring, taunting her, which doesn't happen in the actual book.

From the Top of My Brain

I'm usually not the type to hold a grudge, not because I'm necessarily all that forgiving, but because I have a short memory. I tend to forget the details of movies I've seen after a few years, who guest-starred on a series, even if I've seen that episode a couple of times, and I'm forever rediscovering roles an actor or actress has done, no matter how many times I check their IMDB profile. But then there are things I never forget, even if I've only encountered them once, and they still filter to the top of my brain from time to time. One such thing came to mind today, something that I encountered only once, back so long I can't even place it (I'm guessing sometime after 1993 but before 1996), and I can't even remember the proper title (I refer to it as Colby 6, but it has a real title). The reason I still remember it to this day is the sheer level of annoyance I get whenever I think about it. The reason it annoys me: the absolute idiocy of the plot.
First, a little background on the Colby series: back in the 80's and I guess early 90's, there was a series of cassettes (and LPs, too, but I never saw them for sale anywhere) focused on the exploits of a group of kids and Colby, who was technically a musical computer, but designed more like a robot, including rollerskates. This was a christian series, so every cassette focused on a biblical lesson of some sort. And lots of singing. I only owned two of the tapes (the first one and Save Colby's Clubhouse, although I'm not sure where it falls in the series, and Wikipedia only mentions the TV series, which I never watched, although I was aware of its existance), but I heard Colby 6 as a sampler at a christian bookstore back in the day. From what I recall, the plot goes a little something like this:
The kids and Colby are going to Winter Camp (already a dumb premise), and one of the kids, a girl, is singled out as a bookworm, more interested in reading than actually camping. Once the kids arrive at the camp, there are apparently no adults (this part only started to annoy me more recently; I didn't even register it when I was younger), and all the food is still on the now-departed bus. So the kids sing a song about how hungry they are that I still half remember to this day. They try various things to get food, including ice fishing, but one kid falls through the ice! Fortunately, the bookworm girl read about how to save people who fell through ice and the kids rescue the other kid. And it turns out the food wasn't on the bus at all, but the bookworm girl put it someplace and apparently didn't hear the other kids talking about how the food was gone and where will they get more because she was too busy reading!! And the kids cheer because now they have food, but nobody yells at her for creating the situation that caused other kid to fall in the ice in the first place! It's such an idiot plot that to this day I still get a tinge of rage when I think about it.
This also generally gets me thinking about other things that cause this level of annoyed rage in me, usually those Eggo Waffle commercials from last year or so where the Dad was always trying to get the daughter's waffles (or pancakes, depending on the product being pushed). Those commercials always rankled me because it shouldn't have been the dad, it should have been the brother! I mean, the dad probably bought the waffles in the first place, and therefore could have claimed a bite (which is what my dad did from time to time), or, being an adult, could have gotten some of his own. In other words, he outranks her, and should not have been the foil. It would have made much more sense if a brother, as an equal (as another kid if older), or a lesser (as a younger brother) to the girl, where the one to go after an extra share of waffles, right? I just get the feeling that ten years from now I'll still be recalling those commercials and the music that went with them, and still getting a tinge of rage all over again.

Also, I just want to say, unlike Colby 6, Save Colby's Clubhouse is awesome, not just because it features an actual villian (Inspector Persnickety, who wants to bulldoze the clubhouse, although not for capitalistic reasons, as one might think) with a snazzy villian song ("His name is Inspector Persnickety/And he inspects everything that he sees/He will point out each mistake/While he writes the rules he makes/--'And every clubhouse must be authorized by me!'"); it also features a female French robot who falls in love with Colby and sings a doo-wop song with the girls about "The Computer of My Dreams." (Really!) The actual conflict resolution is kind of lame, but the robots computers in love makes up for it.

Adventures in Agapeland: The Music Machine - chapters five through nine

Last time in the only Agapeland chapter book ever, in a story-within-a-story, Stevie and Nancy found themselves in Agapeland, met Mr. Conductor and went to bed in a giant tree, all while something was being plotted in the land of Aire.

Chapter V - An Evil Deed
As the title promises, this chapter details Mr. Pimms' evil plan. Which starts at twilight, with Mr. Pimms and the Pudgians heading toward the river, although the narrator acts like he's never seen them before. The Pudgians wonder how they're planning to get across the river into Agapeland, since the only way is the King's Ferry, and obviously, there's no disguising themselves. This isn't really built on, but evidently Aireians are not allowed in Agapeland. But Mr. Pimms happens to know a guy named Boodle who runs a barge across the river, although this guy is not too pleased to see Pimms. Seems the last time they crossed paths, things didn't go well for Boodle, so he charges Mr. Pimms three times the usual fee. Also, Boodle talks with lots of 'ye' and 'thee' phrasings for no good reason. Seriously, nobody else talks like this in the entire book.
Boodle gets them across the river in an old, grody barge and Mr. Pimms is all "I'll be the most respected person in Aire when this is done!" as he sends the Pudgians off to get supplies for the task at hand. And so the Pudgians take to the trees, since they're adept swingers as it were, and find a small farm where they steal a tarse (a kind of pack animal) and a cart. With the cart, they make their way to a village and steal a bunch of supplies (ropes and the like), then continue on their way. Before they make it to the arranged meeting place, they hear two of the Royal Guards (dressed in blue and silver) talking about the recent robbery, and so they set up a trap, which the guards fall into rather readily. They tie up the guards and question them, but the guards aren't talking, so they hide the two men in the bushes and move on. The Pudgians finally get to the meadow and see "it" (I'm sure you know what it is), and start getting cold feet, but Mr. Pimms shows up and ends the chapter.

Chapter VI - The Riddle
The majority of this chapter is really a dream that Stevie and Nancy share, a dream full of foreshadowing! Basically, they dream that Agapeland is dying, Nancy almost falls down a deep pit, and a bird shows up and sings them a song about faith. And they hear the voice of Majesty tell them, "When the problems seem bigger/Than mountains so high/Remember the song/Of the sparrow and fly!" This will be important later.
And then they wake up, all "Phew, it was only a dream!" But then Stevie opens the door of the tree and Agapeland really is dying, although not as extremely as in their dream.

Chapter VII - Two on the Trail
Stevie and Nancy are still in shock at dying Agapeland, especially since it's the first day of the festival! How shocking! *cough cough* So they go to look for Mr. Conductor, hoping for some answers. As they reach the meadow, they find the Conductor in despair, and notice a hole where the Music Machine should be. The kids naturally ask the obvious questions, and Mr. Conductor explains that the Music Machine has been stolen! Obviously someone from Aire is behind it, and I'd say that's stereotyping if we didn't know he was right. And so he goes to get instructions from Majesty, leaving the kids behind.
Not the type to just be left behind, Stevie suggests they try to solve the crime themselves, and they start looking for clues, easily finding the wagon tracks (the machine has to be seriously heavy). They follow the tracks, hoping to catch up with the culprits, but they get tired and take a break. That's when they hear something in the bushes and uncover the Royal Guardsmen. Stevie ungags them and they introduce themselves as Majesty's Attendants. The kids untie the attendants, introduce themselves, and fill the attendants in on the Music Machine's disappearance. The attendants instantly realize that the ruffians who tied them up must have been after the machine, and tell the kids all they know. Like Mr. Conductor, they plan to go and get instructions from Majesty, but don't plan on taking the kids with them. Stevie tells them that's quite all right, since they're on the trail and all. So one of the attendants tells them the best way to get into Aire, and sends them in the direction of his friend Jakar, who can give them more information. They prepare to part ways, but the attendant also warns them of Prince Nakel, the evil ruler of Aire. Judging from his warning, you might expect the prince to show up in the story sooner than he does, but no, he doesn't show up for another six chapters. With that, the attendants take off with such speed that Stevie decides he wants to be one when he grows up.
It takes them all day to get to Jakar's house, traveling through a rapidly deteriorating Agapeland. Jakar is apparently a half-giant, like Hagrid from the Harry Potter series, at least that's how the description sounded to me. The kids introduce themselves as friends of the attendants, and fill Jaker in on the sordid details of the stolen Music Machine. He invites them in and introduces them to his wife, Blessing, a woman way too beautiful to be a farmwife. She feeds them, and when the meal is almost done, something starts crawling up Nancy's leg. It's a Huggit, according to Jakar, named Bundle, basically fur with legs that dies if it cannot lavish affection on something. It attaches itself to Nancy, and the two kids go to bed, while the narrator ominously tells us this is the last good night's sleep they'll get for a while.

Chapter VIII - Mr. Pimms' Plans
Going back in time to earlier that day, Mr. Pimms is having trouble getting the cart with the Music Machine to stay steady on the barge, and the tarse causes so much damage that Boodle charges another 50 silver pieces, wiping Mr. Pimms' money supply clean out.
Back on dry land, Pimms' exults in the first part of his plan going over, granted with a few hitches. But the fact of the matter is, they're going to need money to continue, so Mr. Pimms comes up with another plan, a more short-term one. By the time they reach the nearest town, he's got it down pat. But first, they all rest in a grove outside the town and finally get some sleep (I was starting to wonder. I mean, the Pudgians got some sleep on the cart but Mr. Pimms has been going nonstop since the previous night).
Anyway, the plan is simple. Mr. Pimms sends the Pudgians out after midnight to steal both food and instruments from the Band Master's shop. The first part goes all right, but of course stealing the instruments gets noisy, and the Band Master wakes up, so they tie him up and stuff him in a wardrobe. In a move that's actually fairly clever for a Pudgian, Growdy puts up a sign saying the shop will be closed all day, so no one will come looking.
The Pudgians keep the trouble they had from Mr. Pimms, who is optimistic about the next part of his plan: with the tarse and Pudgians dressed up, they drive into the town of Chartsan on Market Day, put on a show, and get money for showing off the Music Machine. A good plan that almost works, except that a banker recognizes Mr. Pimms's magic tricks (involving his pet rat, who I've been leaving out of the summary). Apparently the last time Mr. Pimms was there, he scammed the villagers with a medicine man routine (something like Dr. Tewilliger from Pete's Dragon, I'm assuming). And then the Band Master shows up, screaming about thieves, and the passengers of the cart beat a hasty retreat with the angry crowd chasing them for quite a ways.
After a good long while, they finally outrun the crowd, but their money situation is still in the dumps. The Pudgians start to get disillussioned with Mr. Pimms' master plan, but he nips any thoughts of rebellion in the bud. Meanwhile, the tarse is so tired out that they have to leave it behind and pull the wagon themselves. Mr. Pimms delegates this to Snard and Boogwart, who complain behind his back, although Snard sagely predicts that the worst is yet to come.

Chapter IX - Journey Into the Mountains
And we're back with the kids, just waking up after their last good night's sleep in a while. Downstairs, Blessing gives them breakfast and Jakar gives them directions through the mountains (he'd go with them, but his job is to watch the foot of the mountains, and it's extra important that he do it now). They also give Bundle to Nancy, since it won't detach itself from her arm, except to eat. With a bag of provisions, they start off on their journey.
Agapeland is just more and more dead by the second, so they get a move on. They follow a stream (which the narrator mentions is fed by "the legendary Crystal Springs, but that is another story") that will take them to a bridge, which will lead them to the Migadawsh Mountains. But when they get to the bridge, they find their way is blocked by a giant snail! It is Herbert the Snail, but not the one of the song, that's his great grandfather. In fact, Herbert sings the entire song to the kids when he finds out they're in a hurry (this takes up a little over a page). It isn't until the song is over that the kids learn that Herbert is actually stuck in the bridge. Stevie and Nancy push him from the front, but he's too slippery (he is a snail, after all), so he lets them climb over him so they can push from behind. Fortunately, that works, and the kids start on their way. But it's only after all that that Herbert thinks to ask why they're in such a hurry, and they explain the whole story. Herbert decides to come with them and gets stuck in the bridge again, even though the kids try to warn him. So they get him unstuck again, and they all get on their way.
Everywhere they go, they're reminded of the death and decay coming to Agapeland. By eveningtide, they spot a campfire, and with further investigation, a whole campground, but no one in it. Only, it turns out to be an ambush! A menacing voice warns them to put their hands up and threatens them vaguely, and the chapter ends.

And so does this post. I'll have the next bit of summaries up sooner, so you won't be in suspense for too long.

Adventures in Agapeland: The Music Machine, chapters one through four

Because this is the kind of thing I do, I bought the book of The Music Machine on eBay. I mentioned before that I encountered it once, but that was at least ten years ago, so while I basically remembered the plot, I didn't really know the specifics. So here it is, The Music Machine by Samuel Wright, fifteen chapters, 142 pages, one illustration per chapter.

Chapter One - The Forest
The whole thing begins as a story-within-a-story as Stevie and Nancy implore their grandfather to tell them a story. So he pulls a book off the shelf and starts reading them a story about themselves. In this story, Stevie and Nancy are sitting on a hill, making up stories, when Nancy decides she wants to explore the nearby woods, so they both roll down the hill and end up not in Wiley Woods but someplace else entirely. This place is described in tons of detail, which is fine and all, but I know they're in Agapeland (and the kids at home do, too, since they specifically asked for a story about Agapeland), so I'd rather Mr. Wright cut to the chase. Anyway, Nancy wants to explore, but Stevie would rather stay where they are than get lost, but he goes along eventually. And they encounter birds and butterflies, but nobody else, and Stevie starts to hear music that Nancy can't, although she does hear it eventually. While they follow the music, Nancy concludes that the forest is enchanted, which is something she'll bring up about just about everything she encounters throughout the book, so I'm just mentioning it now. Finally they reach a clearing, which Nancy insists is a Royal Meadow, and they see something that they have no clue what it is. They don't get to find out, either, because we go straight to

Chapter Two - Mr. Pimms

In an entirely different forest, late in the afternoon, a bunch of short, ugly figures are sitting by a fire. Then a dapper young man in a top hat comes out of the woods and starts yelling at them for making a fire while the sun is still out. They are Boogwart, Snard, and Growdy, three Pudgians, and he is Mr. Pimms of the chapter title, apparently a human. The point of this chapter is to introduce this crew, since they will soon be setting the plot in motion. The Pudgians are not very smart and rather uncouth, but Mr. Pimms is by all appearances a gentleman, even dressed in an ascot, with a prized ring that he wears under his gloves. Which is what you would do if you wore gloves all the time, but I never thought about it before. He also has a pet rat named Oswald.
Their meeting is to discuss how to pull off a vaguely referred to "plan," which Mr. Pimms masterminded. He plies them with flattery, and the drink doesn't hurt, either. The chapter ends with them vaguely finalizing their plans, and going their separate ways.

Chapter Three - The Music Machine

I'd really rather not get back to the kids, but the story has to proceed, and it really can't until they find out what that thing they saw in the first chapter is, so here we are, back with Stevie and Nancy as they try to figure out just what this treasure chest with a smoke stack, buttons, and levers is all about. Nancy thinks it must make candy and Stevie gets mad her, convinced this is a machine for SCIENCE! And then Nancy starts pushing all the buttons but nothing happens, so Stevie's all "I will solve this with SCIENCE!" but he doesn't do any better than she did. Nothing they do works, and it's starting to get dark. So Stevie's all "I wanted to stay where we were, and now we're lost in an enchanted forest," to Nancy, and then they hear something coming, and it takes forever to get there. Long enough for Nancy to freak out three times and for them to hide behind the chest. And something touches Stevie's head...

Chapter Four - A Pleasant Surprise

The kids freak for another two paragraphs before finally they turn around see Mr. Conductor, who, like on the album, introduces himself at The Conductor. Also like on the album, he already knows Stevie and Nancy, and so they press him for answers about where they are and how they got there. He answers the obvious one (they're in Agapeland) but never actually tells them how they got there. Stevie's more interested in how they'll get back, but Mr. Conductor assures them that they'll go home when the time is right and nobody will ever know they were gone. How very C.S. Lewis. After finding out that Mr. Conductor (along with "many interesting people") lives in the forest, Nancy gets it in her head that he's some kind of prince, and Stevie finally connects that the thing that touched his head at the end of the last chapter is the same stick Mr. Conductor is holding. Mr. Conductor explains that it's a baton that he uses to conduct music, and the kids remember what lead to this whole encounter: the music they heard in the forest. So finally Mr. Conductor tells them that the contraptions is the Music Machine and it was what made the music they heard.
The narrator explains how the Music Machine is what brings life to Agapeland, and that without it, the land would die, but it's okay because nothing's ever happened to it. *cough cough* foreshadowing *cough cough* And Mr. Conductor tells them how to use the Music Machine, and to demonstrate he sticks an antique musical note (made out of what? It isn't specified) in the machine, and it makes the usual noises before playing its theme song. Mr. Conductor conducts during the song, but since it's a machine, does that really do any good? Also, the lyrics are part of the text. This happens anytime a song is mentioned, with the copyright information appearing at the bottom of the page.
After the song, Mr. Conductor invites the kids to put something in, but all they have is a piece of string, but Mr. Conductor puts it in anyway, all smug, and the String Song from the album plays. When the string comes out, Stevie puts it back in his pocket, thinking it might be useful someday. Foreshadowing? (I don't remember. Sorry.) So they spend the rest of the day putting things in the Music Machine, but eventually it gets dark. Mr. Conductor tells them he has a place for them to sleep, but first he has to polish the entire Music Machine, since Stevie and Nancy got their fingerprints all over it. While he does this, there's more foreshadowy talk about how important the Music Machine is, and Mr. Conductor tells them about an upcoming festival (in the season of Dosca *_*) where they get Sacred Writings that go in the Music Machine and create the music for another year. These documents MUST be put in by the seventh day of the festival, or else. Also, the documents come from Majesty, the king (and apparently creator) of all Agapeland.
Then there's a lot of going through Agapeland description that I'm skipping before they get to a clearing where Mr. Conductor has the kids plant a seed. He pours some water of the seed and BLAMMO! It grows into a huge tree with a house inside. Inside the house is their dinner, and while they eat Mr. Conductor warns them about that other place, the Anti-Agapeland, called Aire (Kingdom of the Air, eh? I'm not sure if that's clever or just blatant.) Then he tucks the kids into bed, promising to show them more of Agapeland tomorrow. But the narrator warns us that evil is afoot...

And that's about all I can take right now. I'll get the next few chapters up in a couple of days.

My childhood: Agapeland

I was killing time in Walmart when I just happened to see it: a 2-CD set in a tin of The Music Machine and its sequel (not the third one, though) for just ten dollars. So I bought it. I want to say it's for the nostalgia value, but the thing is, I never listened to the Music Machine albums before. Oh, I was familiar with the set-up. I had almost all the Agapeland videos when I was a kid, and I had the cassettes of Nathaniel the Grublet and the Music Machine Club album (which is not the same, mind you), plus I'd seen the animated versions (The Music Machine and Benny's Biggest Battle) and had a couple of the Character Builder book and tape sets. In fact, what really made me buy the CD set was that it promised a bonus DVD with four of the Character Builder stories on it. This turned out to be a LIE. It was a completely different DVD from somebody else's childhood (The Amazing Book related. I was never into that series). I contacted the company about this, but they haven't gotten back to me. Also, the images used on the tin and CDs and booklet are from the animated version, which features characters that don't appear on the albums at all.

And because I seem to be incapable of taking in any media these days without getting the urge to write up a synopsis for it (with sprinklings of commentary), here are volumes one and two of The Music Machine.
Note: The discs from this set are in the opposite order. Disc One is actually Volume Two, and vice versa. But I'm going in chronological order. Just so you know.

The Music Machine: The Fruit of the Spirit (from 1977!)
The album starts off with a longish instrumental intro to the first song "A Land Called Love." The song, once it gets going, is pretty slow and lullaby-ish. I really wouldn't have started off with such a slow song, but it is rather pretty in the bridge. Once the song ends, Stevie and Nancy, the two kids synonymous with Agapeland, have their first appearance, wondering where the heck they are. They have no clue how they got there, but they like what they see. With a magical twinkle, Mr. Conductor arrives (note that he actually introduces himself as The Conductor), apparently out of nowhere. He already knows Stevie and Nancy, and tells them they're in Agapeland. He fences their questions on where Agapeland is and what he does ("I do a lot of things"), but fortunately, the kids are quickly distracted by the titular machine itself, leading to the titular introduction song, of course, which starts off with a bit of music I recognize from the trailer for the Agapeland Home Videos, so it's kind of weird to have it not continue as I remember it. The song itself is fairly uptempo, and it wins me over by the musicalizations in the second verse, although the middle section could be left out. I also remember the kazoo part at the end as being the ending of the Agapeland Home Video Trailer, so it's nice to finally know where that comes from.
Although he just explained in song, Mr. Conductor explains again: put something in the Music Machine and it'll play a song about it. To demonstrate, he puts in his whistle and the Music Machine starts making noise. Now, that middle section of the previous song mentioned the sounds that the Music Machine makes before starting a song as "whir whir chuka chuka bomp bomp psst." I thought that was just onomatopoeia, but no, the sounds the machine makes are actually a bunch of voices saying those words set to a high pitch and slightly mechanized. The song that comes out, "The Whistle Song" features both fifes and whistling, and lists all the things, animate and inanimate, that whistle, and posits that they're singing songs of praise. It's actually kind of jazzy, in a kids' chorus kind of way.
All the songs on the two albums are sung by either the kids' chorus, random soloists (both kids and adults), Mr. Conductor, or some combination thereof, by the way. After the song, Stevie notes that the whistle came back out of the machine, and Nancy wishes she had something to put in. Mr. Conductor tells her to smile into the machine's slot, and sure enough, a song about Smiles comes out. This is the most kiddy sounding of all the songs, really, and feels slightly offtune to me, but I think it's supposed to be, in a carousel wurlitzer style.
Nancy loved her song, but Stevie is quick to put something in himself: a piece of string, which inspires a madrigal about the things string can and can't do (fix a friendship, for example). Since the machine has suddenly turned educational, Mr. Conductor proposes that they put in a verse from the Bible to see what songs come out. He means Galatians 5:19-23, which is about the Fruit of the Spirit. Nancy misinterprets this as real fruit, so he lists a few off to clarify. And then the verse is put in, and the machine just about breaks down from the sound of it. The first song starts, and then there's a crash. Guess the machine really did break. No, wait, that's just part of the song. The first song is "Patience (Herbert the Snail)," which is the one everyone remembers, from what I've seen online. Probably because the chorus vocals are slowed way down, which kind of annoys me now, but I'm sure if I were a kid would be hilarious.
There's no break between the first and next song, "Gentleness" (which is the longest song, btw), one of the random soloists plus kids chorus songs. Very soft and gentle, naturally, although the examples of gentleness seem more like peace to me. After that song, Nancy declares she understands about the fruit thing now (although I don't really get how, since the songs haven't really been talking about applying them to your life or anything, just what each one is). And Stevie makes a terrible joke which everyone laughs at, but I'll forgive them, since the kids are just kids after all, and Mr. Conductor is obviously just pity-laughing. Mr. Conductor gets the machine going again, and there's a rousing number about Faith that I wish was longer, even though the lyrics are pretty much the same thing over and over.
The next song, "Joy" is all calypso and apparently sung by a teens' chorus (that's the nearest I can figure, anyway). There's a bit of a pointless interlude between this song and the next, "Peace," where a kid soloist sings of the things that bring peace in a child's life, which is immediately followed by a country-western song about Goodness that merely talks about random things that are good and expects this to show why we should be good. The next song, "Love," starts with a funky kind of intro before turning into a twangy duet. After this, the kids take a break to enumerate which Fruits there have been songs about (seven) and Mr. Conductor informs them that there are two more to go, so the machine gets going once more with a song about Self-Control. Now, in my youth, I did see the book that accompanied the record of this album, basically the lyrics with illustrations. The only one I remember was the pictures for this song, which freaked me out something terrible back then. Thinking on it now, I just feel bad for Stevie, since the illustrations (as I recall anyway) showed the bad things that happened to him from lack of self-control, even though the singer is a random adult. The last song, "Kindness," is one of the more interesting ones, as it plays out as a Caribbean lullaby, basically stating that kindness begets kindness. It's also the second-longest song, with more instrumentals than the others.
Once the last song is over, Mr. Conductor basically just sends Stevie and Nancy away, and they don't even protest! I mean, they mysteriously ended up in this amazing place and all they did was listen to some songs, and now they have to go without seeing hardly anything! Besides, don't the kids in that kind of situation (mysteriously in a strange place, I mean) usually say things like "Do we have to?" when it's time to leave? Anyway, they say their goodbyes and fade away (their voices do anyway), and Mr. Conductor states, "They'll be back." As a cynical adult, I'd like to imagine him saying this darkly, under his breath, almost a threat. Before we can consider the implications of his statement, a reprise of the titular introduction song starts up from the kazoo part, ending the album. The whole thing is a little over thirty minutes, by the way.
Songs that get stuck in my head: The Whistle Song, Music Machine, Patience (such an earworm!)
You can actually see the pages from the booklet that came with the record here, courtesy of the only Agapeland fansite.

The next album didn't come out until 1983, six years later. This one won a Grammy and a Dove award, which is pretty cool. I also like it a little better than the first album because it reveals that Mr. Conductor is kind of, well, adorkable, if you know what I mean. I probably won't do justice to this in the synopsis, because it's all in the little things.

The Music Machine: All About Love
Like the first album, this one starts with a slow song, "When Love Lives in Your Heart," but unlike the first album, after the first verse and chorus, Stevie and Nancy arrive, remarking on how they are somehow in Agapeland again, and they go off in search of the Music Machine to find out where the song is coming from. (BTW, the random adult soloist has an annoying way of singing.)
Stevie and Nancy easily spot Mr. Conductor working on the Music Machine. They want to help, but Mr. Conductor says he's just doing "a little work," prompting Nancy to ask what's wrong with the machine. Mr. Conductor tells her, "Well, nothing really," in a tone that indicates (to me) that something is wrong, and he's just covering up by saying he's giving it a tune-up. The Music Machine springs to life and plays a song about tune-ups of its own volition. Twangy guitars feature heavily here. By the end of the song, Mr. Conductor is ready to test the machine, but the kids want to be the ones to put something in. Stevie and Nancy confer, and decide to ask the Music Machine a question. Mr. Conductor has no objections, so they proceed: What's the most wonderful, spectacular, colossal, super, fantastic, stupendous thing in all Agapeland? While the Music Machine does its thing (you know, the whirs and all that), Stevie and Nancy hypothesize about what the answer will be, but the song that comes out ("The Greatest Thing of All") shoots down all their ideas quite specifically and instead says that the greatest thing is Love. Which makes sense, since that's what Agapeland is named for. This song is very fun-sounding with a driving backbeat.
Stevie wants to know why the answer was Love, so Mr. Conductor informs him that God Is Love. Suddenly, the Music Machine starts up on its own again, causing Mr. Conductor to proclaim, "I thought I fixed that!" which proves what I said earlier. This song ("Love Never Fails") is my favorite from this album, even though the lyrics are not the greatest. But the actual music gets me every time. It's kind of odd, but there's a lot of the things I love, like clarinets and oboes, plus the random adult soloist sounds good, which is a plus.
After the song, the Music Machine tries to play another song, but shuts down completely. Mr. Conductor insists it isn't broken, it just needs some "adjustments." So he tinkers a little and a song comes out ("Glad to be Me"), sung by a random kid soloist with a terrible twangy accent, all about how animals don't want to be like other animals, so we should be glad to be ourselves. The Music Machine keeps going, with a strange country western duet about things that go together (some choices are questionable, such as "Like a yankee and a doodle") to illustrate that "I Was Made For Love."
Stevie and Nancy take all these songs as signs that the Music Machine is good as new, and remark on how they're learning a lot about love, when suddenly strange noises come from all directions. And then there's a noticeable break where it must have been time to turn over the record. Mr. Conductor reveals that the sounds are Sloops, but when the kids ask what the heck Sloops are, he answers with a not very revealing song that mostly names a lot of random things that Sloops are made of (Stevie and Nancy's favorite things, apparently), and the most important part is love. While talking about the Sloops (colorful, carrying flowers), Stevie and Nancy start slipping into a twangy accent for no apparent reason. The Sloops introduce themselves: they all have names that start with B, although whether this is actually Bea (Stevie later asks why they all have the same first name) or B. (Mr. Conductor refers to them as the B family) isn't really clear. Most of their names are standard puns (Be Kind, Be Patient), but they do throw in a couple of nonstandard ones as well (Be Haves and Be Lieves). Nancy asks the Sloops to put something in the Music Machine, and B. Humble is the first to come up. With Mr. Conductor's permission, he puts in his flower, and a song about a Humble Bumblebee comes out, sung by another random kid soloist who is only partially comprehensible. The fast clip of the song doesn't help, either.
Stevie wonders if there are more Sloops out there, and Mr. Conductor tells him that there are indeed, but the ones they're with now are all reminders of what love is supposed to be like. To that end, he invites B. Faithful to put one of her flowers in the Music Machine. The "I Love You" song is another random kid soloist song, a prayer listing all the things she loves, especially God. Mr. Conductor starts to explain the song, but B. Patient interrupts him, asking "What about Herbert the snail?" Unable to elaborate, Mr. Conductor has to translate: do the kids remember Herbert the snail? To prove they do, Stevie and Nancy sing a snippet of the song from the previous album. Satisfied, Mr. Conductor calls forth a new song about Herbert ("Love Waits a Long, Long Time") and his mother (obviously a man doing a fake falsetto), which is catchy in its own, kinda smarmy, way.
With that song out of the way, the other Sloops crowd around Mr. Conductor, each wanting to put their flower in the slot. So Mr. Conductor suggests having everyone put their flowers in all at once, since the Music Machine is working again, just to see what'll happen. I get the feeling that this is how the Music Machine broke in the first place. The Sloops cheer, toss in their flowers, and from the sounds the machine makes, it nearly breaks again, and when a very twangy country western song comes out, I'm not so sure it didn't break. The song ("Everybody Needs a Lot of Love") states the things you can't do to love, but we still need it. It also includes the unfortunate couplet: "You can't mop it like a floor/Can't stop it like a door/You can't keep it like a horse in a stall," with the word "horse" drawn out so that it sounds like something else before the end kicks in. This song leads immediately into another, "I Love You, Lord Jesus," with the kids' chorus.
After those two songs, Stevie and Nancy once again remark that they've learned a lot about love, and Mr. Conductor reminds them not to forget, since it'll come in handy soon. But he refuses to explain what he means by this. Instead, he tells them it's time to go home, and distracts them with a reprise of "The Greatest Thing of All." During the song, Stevie and Nancy find themselves leaving Agapeland (I want to know exactly what's going on. Are they teleporting, being lifted in the air, or what?), and they wish everyone goodbye as a reprise of "When Love Lives in Your Heart" by an adult chorus (and the random adult soloist) swells and closes the album.
Songs that get stuck in my head: The Greatest Thing of All, Love Never Fails, I Was Made for Love, Everybody Needs a Lot of Love.

All in all, these albums are pretty cute, and the songs are very apt to get stuck in your head. Don't be too surprised if you see some other Agapeland-related stuff pop up here or on Youtube, now that my nostalgia's been piqued...
By the way, here's Love Never Fails.